But as I grow my social media circle of friends I think more and more about what I’m putting out into the world – am I supporting the right message, am I posting thinks that encourage others to be their best selves or do I only post about what benefits me? Any y’all I really truly hope its not the latter – and if you think it is mean this from the bottom of my heart – call me out on it. So with that in mind here’s some things that I think of myself as a blogger and I hope that these things are reflected in my posts.
1. I have a “real” job.
Look, I have plenty of respect for full time bloggers because let me tell you blogger takes a lot of hustle and a lot of personality so I don’t say this is be all of look at me, I’m so serious / smart / hard working. I say this to point out two things – the majority of material things I post or wear are things I have because I went out and bought it with the money I earned at work – just like you and many other people in this world. And two, because I want y’all to know that I don’t need y’all to like to know it to pay my bills – if I share something its because I genuinely like it, not because I think it will be a hot seller and I need some commissions.
2. I have a budget
One thing I’m really struggling with right now is controlling my spending and not getting sad when I can’t buy something. My husband and I both have good jobs and we have a beautiful home so it feels weird to me to tell myself I can’t afford something. And here’s a real truth bomb – sometimes I get jealous of people who can buy the things I want. I typically think people’s finances are private matters but if I’m going to blog about items to purchase I think I owe y’all some transparency here. So here’s the deal – in our house we operate strictly off our debit account. And between paying the mortgage on the beautiful home, student loans, groceries, cars, non fun living expenses and yes paying aggressively on some debt from when we didn’t live this way there’s not enough money in the account to buy 10 or even 5 items from the Draper James x Eloquii collection – I had to very carefully pick one item. Point being – I can’t “buy all the things” so I really hope my posts never come off that way because it’s simply not true – I simply choose to share the things that I was able to buy.
I used to see bloggers post about a product they were sent or an event they attended and think cool – I want in. And don’t get me wrong, I love testing out products and I’m a social person by nature so of course I love events but there’s a lot of time and love that goes into each post. I try to be picky about partnerships because while I used to think cool, free stuff I realize now that a “free” item takes hours in taking photos, uploading and doing minor edits, drafting a post , agonizing of every word of said post, sharing on social media and engaging back to comments and messages – a HUGE pet peeve of mine is bloggers that don’t engage back, I don’t care how many comments you get, it doesn’t take long to scroll though and “like” all your comments, when someone leaves a compliment or kind words ignoring it is just hella rude (climbs off soapbox now). So I know one can look at bloggers and think oh, they’re only posting about that because they got it for free trust me – something I don’t like or am not interested in isn’t worth the energy that goes into a post.
4. I don’t consider myself a plus size blogger
Yes, I own a mirror – I know I’m plus size y’all. But, I don’t think it’s necessary to box myself into that definition – I follow plus size bloggers and I follow straight size bloggers and I see beauty in both and get inspiration from both. There are times when yes I do wear items that are from plus size exclusive brands but typically I feel like I wear things that just represent current style and aren’t exclusive to one particular size. One of my most “liked” wardrobe items lately is my velvet skirt – that’s something pretty much everyone and their mother has worn over the past few months. I don’t overtly state it in my posts very often but I very much believe in body positivity. Nothing breaks my heart more than hearing a woman talk down about herself or saying she’ll do something she wants to do when she loses X lbs. I think back to myself in high school when I was a “fat” kid at 150 lbs – I’m 5’10 so that made me about a size 12 and I felt terrible about myself, now I wear a size 22. Ideally I’d like to find myself somewhere in between but in the meantime I’m not going to hide from the world or not enjoy my life because I don’t have my perfect body. If I can wear yellow and smile about it and think it looks pretty decent than I promise all you 22, 12, 2 and all sizes in between, below or above can do it too.
5. I’m not trying to be an “aspirational” blogger
I’m a real life lady y’all. When I think of who connects with my on social media I think of it as being someone who a. knows me in real life or b. would be my friend if we knew each other in real life. I don’t Photoshop my photos, sometimes I post pics where my hair looks terrible or my outfit is wrinkled or it just was not a photogenic day. From one point it’s just a practicality – I simply do not have time for every picture to be “perfect” but more importantly I want to be a voice shouting grace instead of perfection.
So if you made it this far – thank you because seriously, you must care about what I put out into the world to make it through all that. But I hope this gives you a better idea about who I am as a blogger and what I’m about. I really hope I can continue to bring you info that you find beneficial be it hey, look at this cute top or just a friendly face each day.
xx,
