I finished Rachel Hollis’s #1 New York Times bestseller Girl, Wash Your Face conflicted. On one hand it was easy to read, funny, and had some easy to follow guidelines for a better life like “five to thrive”; on the other hand I couldn’t stop thinking – Wow, Rachel Hollis is so full of herself.
Yet a few months after I finished it I found myself buying her second book Girl, Stop Apologizing. I joined her “made for more” facebook group, listened occasionally to her Rise podcast and even hunted down her collection of planners at my local Target. I found myself annoyed by this woman but drawn to her teachings.
As much as I like the material, I would not define myself as a fan. Let me list the things I don’t like about Rachel Hollis:
1. Rachel grew up poor and man is she bitter about it, which is really weird for someone who preaches positivity and not being defined by your past. I don’t want to downplay the struggles of being poor but when someone has spent pretty much their entire adult life being rich no one wants to hear a rant about their mom making a birthday cake from a box mix. Best I can tell Rachel never went hungry or was homeless, her family just lacked material wealth.
2. Rachel constantly writes about pulling herself out of her poor background and founding her multi million dollar company. What Rachel doesn’t mention over and over again is that none of her businesses were started until after she married her husband at 21, who was an executive at Disney at the time. I think Rachel has a strong work ethic and I admire that she didn’t settle for being a trophy wife but it bothers me so much that she will pat herself on the back for working for free to learn the industry while downplaying that having a rich husband allowed her to do so.
3. Rachel brags about her company all the time. On one hand I get it, you are successful and you should be proud of it, on the other hand she wastes too much space in her books talking about how great she is – we know girl, that’s why we bought your book!
4. Rachel will talk about how she doesn’t like the term “girl boss” yet calls her readers “girl” and “sis” over and over again. It’s supposed to be cutesy but girl, it is not!
5. Rachel is obsessed with fitness. In her books it comes off a bit fat-phobic but I do think she has looks at her audience and said hmm, I need to tone down the weight aspect and talk more about health. But let it be known that Rachel at one point weighed 50lbs more than her current xs frame and she is still very much hung up on hating the way she looked. She has used the phrase “I looked like I was stung by 1,000 bees” to describe her former appearance- which is odd in general but especially for someone who built her fame off a viral bikini mom with stretch marks body positivity instagram post.
6. Rachel has problems with alcohol and is very casual about it while at the same time talking badly of the parents of the children she fostered who struggle with drug addiction. She also talks about how people who don’t stick to diets aren’t a “person of integrity”. But drinking too much vodka too frequently, whatever sis.
I don’t list all these things to turn this into a bashing Rachel Hollis post but to show that I am clearly not one of her loyal, fan girl, kool-aid drinking fans.
So, onto the conference. I’ve seen people talk about the Rise conferences with such enthusiastic energy a part of me was so curious about the hype but I never considered spending my time or money on it. But, when the virtual conference was announced my first thought was omg, something to do besides chores and watching netflix, yaaas!!! And also, it seemed like such a great opportunity to satisfy my curiosity. So for the low price of $65 I signed up for a day of motivation, inspiration and who knows what.
1. I was very impressed by the effort put into the event. I imagined Dave and Rachel shooting their sessions in their home office but they rented a studio and set it up just like a in person conference stage. There was lighting, a dj, dance breaks and even a slide deck that rolled on the screen during actual breaks.
2. Hollis Co is working on a fitness app and one of the trainers they are working with who did some mini sessions at the conference is an absolute delight. I legitimately enjoyed this and let’s be real y’all – I don’t ever enjoy working out. I enjoyed it so much in fact that yes, I will turn over money to Hollis Co when this app is realised.
3. Rachel and Dave were the best presenters of the who lineup. There was one other speaker I remember enjoying enough to take notes during their session but I honestly would have to refer to my notes to tell you what it was so clearly it didn’t make THAT much of an inpact. For being fairly new at the coaching / motivational speaker gig The Hollis’s are very good at it.
4. Rachel and Dave Hollis are expert marketers. Nothing The Hollis Co preaches is revolutionary, in fact a lot of “Rachelisms” are things that the motivational speakers she draws her own inspiration from teach but the Hollises package it REALLY well. “Five to Thrive” , “Made for More” , “Rise Together” are all catchy; quotes from Nobel Peace Prize winners and personal development gurus look fresh and modern when put on instagram in trendy lettering and bright colors. ( Rachel has recently come under fire for posting a Maya Angelo quote without credit and her apology blamed this on her social media team but her books and online presence are littered with this kind of plagerism) Intellectually I know that they are repacking a lot of stuff but honestly the “packaging” appeals to me. In a way I feel about the Hollises the way I feel about diamonds – I know they are just stones that have had the crap marketed out oh them but gosh darn it I like their shiny prettiness.
5. I like Rachel the presenter more than Rachel the author. In her book Rachel comes off as smug, entitled, ungracious, and trying too hard to be relatable. On video she’s energetic, uplifting, a little preachy perhaps but not as much as your average motivational speaker, and doesn’t feel as fake. The skeptic is me is whispering “it’s just an act” but honestly if it is, it’s a damn good act.
Of course, not everything Rachel said resonated with me. When talking about goals she talked about putting all your effort into one goal at a time and used the metaphor of soccer balls – you can either give one ball a big kick with all your energy or move a group of balls down the field slowly with little kicks. I get the point she’s making but I couldn’t help but wonder what do all the balls left behind represent – my marriage, my job, my family, my home, my friends? Not everyone has the luxury of that millionaire husband to put goals before the necessity of working, or can afford a nanny, housekeeper, personal assistant, and their own personal at home cross fit style gym to give them the time and energy to devote to that big kick. If becoming a NY Times best selling author means leaving behind my family for a grueling promotional tour than to be perfectly honest – I don’t want it.
But to be fair I has big takeaways too – the biggest for me what the “what if” exercise. Here Rachel talked about how we worry about significantly more things happening than actually do be also walking through turning the things we’re afraid of into opportunities and setting up a plan for if they do happen. So instead of tossing and turning at night wondering over and over “what if I lost my job?” I say “what if I lost my job AND I found one I like more with better pay” and then work through what my course of action would be.
What if I lost my job? > I would call the mortgage company and get a grace period on our payments so we could live off Shaun’s income > and then I would apply for at least 10 jobs a week on Indeed and Linked In > and if I ran out of accounting jobs to apply for in Memphis I would expand my search to cities we would be interested in moving to > and if more than six months went by and we had to pay the mortgage again we would use savings > and if we used up our savings and I still couldn’t find a job we would move to a smaller house we could afford on one income
And the further down the chain you go the less likely the situation is to happen but instead of worrying about “what if” I can take comfort in having a plan. This works well for me because I need to feel in control when under stress. In the past when I have had terrible work situations the act of applying for different jobs didn’t make individual days suck less but they did soothe me by knowing I was taking control to have an end in sight.
So at the end my takeaway is this – Rachel Hollis tries very hard to promote herself as the girl next door, tough love, hard working best friend – and you can buy into that. You can also see Rachel for who she really is – a privileged millionaire with a army of assistants supporting her success – and still get benefit from her content. I would never ever drop $1k+ to see her at an event in person but will I continue to listen to her podcast? Absolutely! Will I buy her next book – not so much.