Sunday Secrets – Behind the Filter

Two weeks ago I posted a “Sunday Secrets” post giving a little insight on the real me vs the social media me and I really enjoyed it and decided to try making it a regular thing. When I first started blogged it was mostly just a journal about my life I shared with my facebook friends filled my thoughts and personal rants. Since “cleaning up” my posts earlier this year I realized that I’ve missed having that outlet and I’ve worried that in only talking about this beauty product or that outfit I might be too shallow and it’s ok to be a little bit real online sometimes. So today I’m taking about my life behind the instagram filtered lens.

 

 Latley I’ve been a little overwhelmed by adulting. I don’t remember my parents ever acting like just being an adult is hard. I was too young to remember much from when my paternal grandfather died but I do remember my maternal grandparents dying within a year of each other and obviously that was hard, I remember my little sister being the baby that cried all the time for the first few months and that was hard, when I was a teen my parents divorced and that was hard . . . .but I’m not talking about that; I’m talking about the life in between – the waking up, going to work, doing the dishes, keeping the house clean normal day to day life. I think the appeal of the big bloggers online is that their lives are aspirational – so beautifully curated and filtered, all smiles and stylish outfits and we think oh if only I get find that jacket she’s wearing I too could be polished and put together . . . and sometimes that’s true, I’m a big believer that what you wear can affect your mood but for me at least sometimes I’ll admit it’s a lie.

 

This month has seen a shift in my work life balance and it would be a lie if I didn’t say it’s been a struggle. I’ve eaten more fast food meals than I care to admit and while that does make me feel blah the area where I’ve really struggled is with personal relationships. This month I’ve been an absent wife and friend and I feel like absolute shit about it. There have been nights when my husband was asleep before I made it home from the office, I had to cancel attending the annual trip with my sorority sisters and even today (I pre -wrote this post because I don’t actually have time for it today) I’m at work (yes, on a Sunday) missing a friend’s birthday celebration. Yet everyday this month I’ve managed to have a social media post-  most smiling in a fashionable outfit or showing off a product I’ve purchased. I worry about the message that could send – hey friend, I don’t have time for you but I did have time to curl my hair, do my makeup and take 20 pictures to find the best one to post so here’s the secret I didn’t realize until I started doing it myself – most of my posts are done in batches. I take 2 or 3 hours on a weekend, do my hair and makeup and take pictures in five or six outfits and build a stash of draft posts in my instagram account. So while I can’t work 12 hour days and spend times with friends everyday I can work 12 hours days and click post from my phone – and that’s why although my life is crazy busy right now that’s not how it would seem from my social media. To make those one day a week shoots last all week, or sometimes two weeks I space out my fashion posts with item posts in-between and these tend to be more in the moment posts like when there’s good lighting coming into my foyer and I can toss something on the hardwood floor and take a quick shot or I managed to actually cook dinner that night and it has a nice presentation look about it.

 

Right now I’m looking at everyone’s pumpkin patch and apple picking photos and thinking damn, this looks so fall and fun I should go do that . . . but I don’t have time. But, at least I can buy the cute scarf online during a conference call and feel like hey, I have a little piece of that perfect, filtered, curated life too.